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We get it. You're nervous, excited, worried, anxious, and a little horny, all at the same time. 😅

The good news is you're not the only one. Lots of our members are new to the lifestyle and even the ones who have been to our masquerades before may still get a little social anxiety.


So what do you say? What should you say? 

To help put you at ease, we complied a list of common and fun suggested questions. 

1. What are you into?

This a simple question that can spark a conversation around intentions for the night. Members ask this when they want to find out what type of experience they are looking for with another member.

2. How long have you been in the lifestyle?

This question is important to help another member understand how experienced another member is in the lifestyle.

3. Have you had any experiences with another couple?

This question is usually reserved for newbies. Experienced members take a lot of pride in being the first experience for a new member.

4. Are you two playing tonight?

"Play" is the term used to describe the act of having sex in the swinging community. A couple asking you if you are playing tonight is usually a subtle sign of interest of wanting to play with you.

5. Have you ever tried BDSM?

We'll have BDSM toys in one of the playrooms that anyone can use. BDSM can be an exciting conversation starter and it can lead to a sexy tutorial in the playroom.

6. Do you two want to play?

A lot of couples are very direct about their intentions. Don't get thrown off by this. Most lifestyle couples are unattached emotionally to whether you say yes or no.

7. Do you two play separately?

Some couples are okay with their partners playing with someone else without them being present. If you are not one of those couples, a simple "no" will do.

8. Is your wife bi-friendly?

Bi-friendly is the term used to describe a female who is comfortable with sexual situations between her and another female. This is a great question to ask if your partner is bi-friendly so that you can know who else would be a good match.

9. What are your rules?

All members have rules. Some more than others. It's common courtesy for a couple to ask another couple what their rules and restrictions are before getting into any sexual situations with that couple.

10. Your boobs look great. Can I touch them?

Despite what some may believe, members don't walk around randomly groping each other at our events. Yes, there is touching, but members must ask politely first. Touching is used as a form of icebreaker and also helps to gauge how interested another member may be in playing. They are also very okay with you saying "no thank you".


11. Do you want to watch?

Asking another couple if they'll like to watch you and your partner is a subtle invitation that could help set the spark. Sometimes another couple will come to watch, sometimes they'll join. Don't expect anything per se and don't take it personally if they don't join. Remember everyone's at a different comfort level.


12. Let's make a toast!

Sharing a drink after making a toast can help create a connection. It's best if each person announces their toast so everyone feels included and so there isn't too much pressure placed on one person. Here's a fun one: "Let's make a toast to getting naked!" Pro tip: Make a toast in one of the playrooms. 

13. Want to dance?

We don't have a dance floor but that doesn't stop members from finding a place to dance. If the mood feels right, go for it. We have plenty of space. 

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